This Saturday Jason and I are going to the second wedding this month. It would be an understatement to say that I am sick of going to weddings. Last week’s was really nice. My younger cousin got married at a small ceremony and your typical eat a bunch of wedding cookies and get drunk as possible reception, except that I didn’t drink and none of the cookies really interested me, but you get the idea. So amidst the cookies and drunkenness of others my various relatives felt the need to question me on when I am getting married and offer unsolicited advice as to why I should/shouldn’t get married. My favorite of the night was my uncle telling Jason, “I was with my wife for 15 years before we got hitched!” At points I just had to laugh, not because it was funny, but to keep from crying. Jason and I have always joked around about it though. We are the nonchalant couple who doesn’t care what people think and who don’t feel the “need” to get married. This has been fine for the last 2 years of living together but now that’s getting kind of old. But me, being the “good” girlfriend I am, of course never brings it up. Instead I just blog about my insecurities amongst recipes for cookies and cream sauce. But seriously have I fallen victim to the old adage “Why buy the cow when you getting the milk for free?” The worst part of the whole thing is that I usually just tell myself that I should feel lucky just to have an awesome boyfriend. Which I am and I know that. I just sometimes feel like I am in a catch 22. I can’t say to Jason “Why don’t you want to marry me?” because then it would be awkward and make Jason feel pressured to propose, which I don’t want, I want him to want to propose. But also I feel stupid. I mean, what am I doing wrong? Why would he not want to marry me? So at the end of the day I’m back to where I started which is not a bad place to be. Maybe just not the place I want to be right now. But you can’t always get what you want… Story of my life.
Stay tuned for regularly scheduled recipes and non ranting posts!